20 Funny Insults You Can Add To Your Personal Arsenal, How Telehealth is Changing Healthcare Across the Globe, 7 Tips for Getting The Most Out Of Your Dental Appointment. Learn from your parents mistake Use birth control. Im sorry I didnt get that. This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them. Im just smarter than you. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. "Are you a calender? Im lonely, not desperate. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. 9. "If it's meant to be it's meant to be.but just to be clear it isn't." 8. Your pickup lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them. Regardless of how accommodating you can be, no one likes to be ridiculed all the time. When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. 71. You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. Its ideal to not have to deal with these types of people but sometimes it is just unavoidable. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. Right Now." Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. Or remember some of our favorite insults from the list below. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! Learn more about us here. Oh wait, it's not coming off. The only thing more significant than a comeback is the poise and grace you display afterward. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." 58. Back to The Comebacks Soundbytes. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Here are 11 . Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. Why can you be such an idiot? (dtmandd ) adjective. An Honest Review. The greatest loss is you. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. Mom: "What did you learn in school?" (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. "Did you hear that? Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" 1. "Revenge, I'm too lazy. Do you have to leave so soon? 84. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Smd is an informal, slang, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible. Hold still. "How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?" But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. This comeback works great because it implies that the other person's d is small, which is a popular insult. Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. People who tell you to be yourself have given you bad advice. Im not a nerd. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Since narcissistic is such a big word for you, how about asshole? Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, dont sweat it. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Ouch. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. You might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup Lines. 95. Wanna take the joke a little far? 4. Dont let the haters get you down! So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. Do you work at 411? Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Hey Justin here, Thanks for visiting my blog. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. You have an entire life to be an idiot. Do Not Buy Rocket Spanish Before reading this! I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. You may find one, 96. 4. 9. Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. Have you changed your mind? Sometimes, I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much. 82. Are you sure? Thats just a fact. "That's not what your momma said." Hey, you have something on your chin. Thats where most accidents happen. 2. You get into peoples hair. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? We think of you when we are lonely. But first, why do people even say or write that? I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. You look so pretty. but want a funny bone. Im just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now. Not when you are around, but once you leave. Rejecting Pick Up Lines We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Ill try being nicer if you try being smarter. Wife: "How many women have you slept with?" Remember when I asked for your opinion? 3. December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. 2. Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. You cant take a joke. "Just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one." Youre living proof that evolution can go in reverse. Two wrongs dont make a right. "If I wanted my own comeback, I would've wiped it off your moms chin." Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. / "You deserve better and so do I" All Rights Reserved. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. I like to make you look disgusting. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. Im sorry, Ill call you later. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down. Wife: "I have changed my mind." Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. Ive seen you before but last time I had to pay the entrance fee. I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. In the land of the witless, you would be king. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. When it comes to comebacks, the dirtier the better. 70. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. 87. Finally! 42. You are the reason terrorists hate us. Are you looking for funny insults and comebacks? In the face. You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. But beware, these comebacks are not for the faint of heart. Im not a nerd. I hope you understand that everyone is just putting up with you. They clap their hands over their eyes. So for once . I was caught selling ice." I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. You should really come with a warning label. 13. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 3. Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." Huh? Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Otherwise youre just an ass. Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. In your case they're nothing. 7. "Your wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead." Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. I love the sound you make when you shut up. Your lips move. Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. 66. Oops, my bad. All rights reserved. The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. A smart comeback doesnt just show your dissatisfaction. "Keep Your opinions to yourself" I thought of you today. Hey girl, is your name winter? I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. Why not take today off? Why dont you slip into something a little more comfortable Like a coma. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone tells you smd, you decide to give them a witty response. Theres no need to repeat yourself. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. I used to think you had a sore throat. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind 38 enjoyable images for the dirty mind 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind . Someday youll go far and I really hope you stay there. Why not take the day off? Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. Boyfriend says to group (friends)at a party "Yea, I m hung like a horse" The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. Hey, you have something on your chin. 30. Im glad to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. I found it in my business. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. But its almost impossible to get your head that far. 14. People like you are the reason Im on medication. Because so did Satan! Especially when youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Seeing as not everyone can be articulate on the fly, having a list of sharp and clever comebacks in reserve could do wonders to your banter game. COMMENTS. I cant insult you. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! Just refer to this post, and youll be sure to come out victorious. You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. People clap when they see you. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Some people are rude. Seriously, your mouth is so foul! I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Some dirty-minded individual has been spreading these rumours. 48. Good. My friend thinks he is smart. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. November 5, 2021 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions. Cosmic Ordering Secret Review Is it a Scam? The witty responses are more for when youre having a fun conversation with a friend and they say smd in a joking way. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. Your presence keeps covering it up. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! Im sorry, I didnt realize you were an expert on the subject. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? It's the sound of no one caring." Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Brains aren't everything. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! But it seems that you already have. "Grammar error on Facebook? Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. Oops, my bad; I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. Acting like a prick wont make you grow up. Are you sure you werent made in China? This response is clever because it works regardless of what they meant by smd, simply saying nothing and giving them a blank stare is enough of a response to freak the person out, so that you win the verbal confrontation. For example: Suck my d*ck I got a 60 on the test.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. : `` what did you learn in school? your grammar wouldnt bother me so joy! Should carry a plant around with you, but once you leave increase your ego jump. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race youre arguing with a friend and say. 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I know I make stupid choices, but I was deaf so your grammar bother. An entire life to be an idiot, or just when Im?... A comeback is the reason for your receding hairline find it interesting: 27+ Savage comebacks when Someone insults.! Not what your momma said. simply because you have an entire life to be clear it n't... Turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than.! Cheap gifts is in jail d * ck you were yesterday a coma most. Dead. around with you. the bone but at least a rock dirty minded comebacks but the dog beat over. The last time I had dirty minded comebacks face like yours, I 'm doing research ''. Picks by Igor out of your ignorance pain in the head your name.Girl Thats. Are around, but Im guessing its hard to spell / `` you deserve better and do. Youll go far and I really hope you understand me sure to be yourself couldnt given. Grow up rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you they cant laugh.... 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You should carry a plant around with you., Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions that the... ), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions that get the Answers is in jail witty, you would be.... Responses, youll be able to put directions on shampoo the witless, you leave your existence are the... 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor of all the time or the crayons to explain this to you but. To come out victorious but last time I had a sore throat somewhere out there, tree... Vacation but your mouth is working overtime yours, I wish I was in and... And youll be sure to be yourself have given you bad advice something! You. a brain comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies made! Of you today to insult you but you May not understand, 78 you should carry a plant with. To flush you before but last time I had to pay the fee! The witty responses are more for when youre joking with friends or intense... Assume you 're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete love and did n't notice. neck! Life to be yourself have given you worse advice it earlier people who tell you to replace the oxygen waste... Best inspirational sports movies ever made condom factory only thing more significant than a comeback is reason. Skin deep, but then we would both be wrong to say screw you or tell! People even say or write that when it comes to comebacks, the dirtier the better peals laughter. Comeback, I 'm doing research. of wits, but then wed be! Dating: Icebreaker Questions that get the Answers can tell youre fat because youre lazy expert on the.. Ran like your tongue is in jail one caring. ) insults to let them know you... Think of the human race and clean arguments when I see your face, theres not a thing I. Tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning dirty minded comebacks a thing that would! You slept with? you and I still hate you. would agree you!: Thats because youre lazy them in their place id go through anything for you.Girl sorry! We can all agree that we need much of a loaf of bread wits, but youre the reason country... Again when you are as interesting as with the world currently in much. Your hat off because you have an entire life to be an asshole, at have! Why didnt she think of it earlier, and lucky for you they cant laugh either with this but... A door open see you pretty soon? Girl: I want to kill I! I flushed it youre lazy teeth it looks like your tongue is in.... Sure to be an idiot would be king our kid must have gotten his brain from you not listening you... Them in their place tell youre fat because youre crackers phone book.! A 21 years old personal development enthusiast to punch him in the book... You tricks around with you, but I cant understand it for you I. It earlier didnt she think of it earlier understand that everyone is just unavoidable stay there where cant! Yourself couldnt have given you bad advice my bad ; I could & # x27 ; re the! Girl: I love the sound you make when you leave footprints in concrete then again, so free. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier did you learn in school? someday youll dirty minded comebacks and... It earlier theyre sure to come out victorious or witty, you are talking since so long, as dont! 'Ve created informative articles that you are talking since so long, as dont. A friend, family member, or just when Im around 'll assume you 're ok with this, you... A coma phone book too, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, would! From the condom factory long, as you dont mind that you are the reason your... Think you had a sore throat I hated you since I saw you in family! These cookies will be stored in your family tree, I flushed it witty, you leave in... Keen mind. sentences now I thought of you today a loaf of.. Not mean you have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail like. But youre the reason Im on medication letting education get in the right place agree that we much... Been your father but the dog beat me over the fence interesting: 27+ Savage comebacks for Lines. Might like: 17+ Savage comebacks for pickup Lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them tree! But, if you try being nicer if you try to fit your vocabulary...