Instead allow yourself to really enjoy your time with your daughter. When I am in the US, I try to work from home on most days so I can spend time with my children. If he is upset, he wants his daddy to comfort him, not me. I dont know what to do. For example, are we all prone to depression or were all our babies C-sections, or what are our living arrangements/work arrangements? (And have your partner or another caregiver do the feedings, so your baby gets used to taking her meals from someone else.) But the guilt you are feeling may very well delay the bonding. He even prefers strangers arms over mine sometimes, like my gardener or one time the carpet cleaning guy. Daddy stays home with her now and she is so attached to him. Her grammy says when either their head or tummy is hurting they dont want their mama, but this really concerns me because of how awfully loud she screams. My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. Not an easy task as my parents DID love me conditionally. She also wont let me give her the bedtime bottle- she screams- it has to be done by Daddy. In the long run, I really hope that your boyfriend and your step-daughters mom will find a way to co-operate nothing will be more healing for the baby than that. Mom's Question: Just 15 minutes of fun interaction. And I would say it is actually a good sign. Parenthood is a great opportunity for personal development! Kiss him and love him non stop. But when she shows me something I tell her to show her mommy, and guess what, she shows me it again. Im totally on the same boat as all of you(s)! I know its wrong but I cannot help but feel jealous, I cannot think of something wrong that Im doing because I play with him all afternoon until late evening and care to his every need.. While I would never ever leave my child, I am very concerned about the lasting effect on our relationship. Ive never hurt her and when I get frustrated with her I always sit her down and walk away and take a few breaths. However, since she was 8+months, she has been fighting me and does not want me to hold her when she sees her caretaker. And when I get her home she ignores me. Create a soothing atmosphere 3. There are a few things I would like to say to you. And you seem to interpret your daughters behavior as if she is blaming you. May God help us all. Please hang in there mommies and daddies. I often wonder if it was like a viscious circle: he didnt want me, I got upset, he didnt want to be around me because I was upset, which made me more upset, which made him even less inclined to be around me and so on and so on. except some weekends I have to work away from home (Overnight). I think she hates me because of my low moments and it hurts me that I cant take them back. the only way she would stop crying is if i gave her to her caretaker. she sees her dad may be once or twice a months. You can also make sure your baby finishes one breast before . Congratulations on your little daughter. This way, your daughter will get much more time close to you. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. Then try some of these methods: 1. If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. Speak with Your Boss. its a vicious cycle sometimes if i feel down, then shes rejecting me, then i feel even more worthless, then shes acting out even morei have to just stop and think about what im projecting. I was very badly rejected by my own mother when I was a child and so I feel the pain of rejection very easily. You sound beyond sad, really despairing. When you spend time with your baby, make it 'quality' time . Im assuming this is not the case with you, obviously. When my husband comes home she runs to greet him. And console her when she is sad. I was disconnected from the baby during my whole pregnancy i was very depressed, but the second he was born i instantly fell in love and felt so ashamed that i felt the way i had. This just isnt what I envisioned my relationship with my daughter to be, I want her to want me, but dont understand why she doesnt. Her caregiver is my sister-in-law and she treats my daughter like her own child. Introduce the bottle to your baby at least three weeks before your start date, slowly adding more pumped-milk feedings. So they want to carried around the clock, wont play by themselves, cant be handed over to anyone else but mom or possibly dad without screaming like there was no tomorrow. i feel that i been such a great mommy for him soo loving and careing his my everything but he started acting weird like a week ago it seems that he prefers his daddy more than me he works full time. I am super worried about our long term relationship and bonding. I am glad I am not the only mother that felt that way when my baby is with his grandmother it feels likes that he doesnt need me and sometimes I feel like crying can someone tell me how to end this nightmare. I sometimes wish that I could die and I admit that there are times when I have seen all my competitors as my enemies and I wanted to hurt my own child out of jealousy..But then I would never do that..My relationship with my husband and his family is degrading day by day..And I regret having married him at all even though he is the best husband and dad ever..I dont know what is happening to me!! Double-check the milk What do you do when your 7 month old won't take a bottle? Anyways here is the question: The childs mother wants to see her but obviously we are afraid shell take off again. I do the same, care, dress, cook, feed, bottle. Also to say daily a positive affirmation like am a good mother especially when your child looks away instead of going to cry go to the bathroom and say it front of the mirror!!! Im starting to become resentful of my husband (who is not taking me seriously at all) and even worse my son xx. that Im not the only one whos going through something like this. Getting the Right Child Care. I have 18mo old twins. When he's with me. Now at 10 months old, she treated me with the same fondness and love that she had showed my husband during her early months. It really hurts and more so because i am going through so many medical problems after my pregnancy. At around 5 to 7 years of age, the opposite happens, but usually not as extreme, since the child is older. Ignore the unwanted behaviour and praise the good an all that but God its hard when my feelings are in shreds. This can be incredibly painful and worrying for the parent not in favor, but in most cases this is part of the babys development process. But 3 weeks ago I got hospitalized. Assess your breastfeeding status If your baby is just a few weeks old and you must return to work, you may feel breastfeeding is not yet well established. Hi, mummys! A ground-breaking study has found that mothers can go back to work months after the birth of their child without the baby's wellbeing suffering as a result. 7) Be patient with yourselfat home and at work. It is still, however, important to take into consideration a few things before actually going back to work: . Ive been the only person that has been able to put her to sleep or take her anywhere alone aside from her father. When he comes home, her face glows in a way that its never glowed for me. Frankly, Im glad Im not the only one in the world who is going through this. (if your daughter will allow; a lot of children do, at least some times.). Even the same morning, she wanted to be with me and when she woke up from her nap, she did not want me around. she doesnt want him to hold her or talk to him. Personally, I think reading books about child development and how to help your child in life can be very rewarding both to help one as a parent with becoming more confident and also to find ways to be able to discuss how to raise a child without it becoming angry or sensitive. I never had this difficulty with my older two children (now 6 and 3) and they both deeply love me and enjoy my company (even though I am the disciplinarian). Why do I feel like she doesnt love me anymore. It may be surprising, but the most common reason that your breastfed baby is likely refusing a bottle is because of their sensory and emotional needs. But, I do know I cant wallow. I dont know what to do. Adjustment takes time. Take care of yourself during this time. im a first time mum and my 10 month old son does the same i only work 3 days a week part time i come home from work he goes to grandad and his dad he dont want to know me it hurts me so much i try so hard but it never works even weekends he still goes to his dad and crys when he leaves the room is upsetting i dont know what to do xxx. He is adorable such an angel baby, doesnt cry unless hungry, sleeps all night from 3 months, ready with a smile. She wants to go to ANYONE (atleast any relative that shes familiar with) instead of me; her dad most importantly. as soon as she hears my moms voice or her caretaker, she would perk up and try to crawl to them, not wanting me to hold her anymore. I have 7 month old baby girl and she is not at all attached to me. If changing diapers with mom means that she gets to play with a special diaper toy and that mom sings a song and tickles her, or that she gets to feed herself and teddy bear (and mom) with a brand-new spoon, or that bedtime means a warm bath in the tub with mom, then these situation can be made less of power struggles too. Going by the earlier posts, my problem is likely due to my travel job. Should I try to get my husband to do more of those things when possible, or will that just lessen the bond between my daughter and me even more?? xxx. I used to have a very tight relationship with my parents. I try to comfort him even when hes inconsolable and even when he doesnt seem to want me. When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. I do each and every work for her. Can a baby NOT like their mom? Her father does go out a lot with her on his days but I do not drive and all we do is stay at home. I play with him when all I want to do watch TV or take some time to myself. We have tried EVERYTHING to get this baby to take a bottle. Within a week I was less upset and things were turning around. If this has happened to you, you might be sad, worried, and frustrated. Recently my sis in law has come back after her long leave.. my son of 3 years has totally changed seeing his aunt.. since she is at home now, i leave my son with her when i am at work.. I also have a 5 year old daughter and she is the opposite. She is almost 14 months old and she doesnt seem to want anything to do with me lately. It might be worth trying too. It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure, but I have to work to make money. this is just a phase. Mostly she just doesnt want me around whenever we see my mother and usually tells me to go away and I would have to correct her and say that is not nice to say to mommy and she still repeats it. Shortly after my now 6 1/2 month old daughter was born my mother was laid off and I had to go back to work. i want to know if this is normal or just a phrae shes going through. I cry about this on my own because I used to be the one who could only make her laugh or in a good mood. hi, im a mom and i have a problem with my son 17 months oldthat when he gets hurt or fall down and starts to cry he doesnt come to me ,he wants anyone but me .if his dady was available he wants to go to him even if another strange person was available he goes to him and leave me when i try to hold him. I dont see this as an issue, but she is concerned that the kid does not like her anymore and could get worse by days. I am so devastated by this as I am worried it will affect our relationship long term? What you need to do is to take a step back and stop taking your daughters preferences as evidence that you have done everything wrong. That is an excellent way to allow the two of you to bond. Of these numbers, working moms are taking the brunt of the burden. Each baby will react differently and in their own way, so it's good to try alternatives until you find the right fit. A scary thought! I dont know how to explain this to him, I just wanted to say, its not my problembut on the other hand, i dont KNOW what the problem is either! Here is a little bit about me and my situation (I am very interested if anyone else can relate to me) I was a bit older when I had my son (33 years old) I had a C-section with complications which meant I couldnt be with my son until 3 hours after his birth. However, as in some of the other posts, dad seems to be the one to play with and have fun with and I am the one who had to do the laundry and clean the house..could this have anything to do with the favoritism? My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. Please dont give up. Sometimes, even when shes just playing on the floor or walking along furniture, and Im just walking past her, she tries to run away from me. It has shown to be a very effective tool to make children both bond and co-operate instead of challenging us and our rules. Please help..I think I am loosing my mind.. Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. But they arent helping your relationship with your child. The weird thing is when I pick her up she whines and clings to her dad and when I put her in the car she is fine and talking 10 mins down the road.. is this the transition between both parents? Try to reach out to your mom and ask for her help. She doesnt come when i call out to her. i dont know why he is acting like this .Does he hate me or doesnt feel secure with me ? Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. His Aunty drops down most weekends and he does not want to know me when she is around. She would be able to go years without knowing anything about us. But its like the opposite of your problem. (It has absolutely NOTHING to do with how much you love your daughter; that was an insensitive and completely incorrect comment by your dad!). New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . But then therell be these random times in between where she wants only me, like the other night when we went to dinnergrammy, 2 grampas, and daddy were all there, and she cried when she went to any of them and cried and reached for me. However, based on that you say your wife is concerned that your daughter doesnt like her anymore, it makes me believe that this situation has not been going on since she was an infant. In all honestly, she did take a bottle eventually. Therefore, the mom has a place to turn to when trying to make food for her family after a busy day and within a short time. Quick message to Laura- Honestly I dont know what to do and I am tired of my ex making me feel horrible each time he says she doesnt want to leave or having it written up in court papers thinking there is abuse. Before they head back to work after baby, send a text to brighten their day. So I came online, and read this entire thread. This time is so precious and so short. I stayed until 11:30 every night to put her to bed and did everything else i was able to do. I work five days a week and he is looked after by my mother in law during the day. blessings to you all. You can also search for adoption support groups and workshops where you live, to connect with other parents in your situation. What a tricky situation you are all in! Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. what can i do to make it better? Maybe I will have better luck with a second kid. I cant stop crying. I was also baffled as to why my husband ,who sees him so much less and could go off for a week on business, would be preferred over me. Many babies go through periods when only one of the parents will do it can be either the mom or the dad. Stroke baby, talk to baby. PLEASE someone help me, its really affecting me and making my day to day really depressing. i leave for college and am out of the house by 5am he doesnt realize im even gone but when i come back at 11am hes fine and playing with grandma untile he sees me and i go give him a hug and kiss and im ready to play and its like a switch he starts crying for hours! But they are so devoted to my daughter that she simply loves being with them. What a painful situation you are in! XOXO, Paula. Many babies act the same way as your daughter punishing the one who left her. Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. Especially when you have a insane father constantly making complaints and accusations your way just to get the child from you. Most times I doubt she even knows that I am her mother. Babies and moms dont automatically bond; just like anyone else they need to spend time together. Or give me some advice so she wont freak out on me like she does? Even if its only by God and me I suppose. Being the not preferred parent means you really get a chance to practice on not taking the rejection personally. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. Just today, my mom was over and when she left, my son just wailed. I try to fix this by not responding to the kid and shouting at her and show her that I am bad. Please help what could it be if ive been such a great mommy to him super lovable!! I found the updates especially helpful, so I thought Id return the favour and post mine too. This is quite common at around 1 year old, and can sometimes last until around the second birthday. Mom gets into the bathtub, full of warm (not hot) water with baby. she would prefer me if she is with me and strangers but at home I am no where in her priority list. I do everything for him and it makes me very sad. That pretty much goes for any situation if he is facing both of us he goes to her. The internet has slammed an expectant mom after she rejected a handmade gift at her baby shower. Therefore, dont think of it as spoiling her if your husband is carrying her around. Hello- Im the mother who wrote when my son was 9 mos and again at 12 mos. So worried he is forgeting about me. This has been for pretty much his whole life. When I first began reading these comments most were talking about their 6 to 8 months old infants. Best of luck. It only means that she prefers her dad right now. then you can start looking and working forward instead of looking back. thanks for listening to my views. She's 9 weeks and we started introducing at 4 weeks. I love my child more than anything in the world and I hope that she knows it. It makes me regret being a mother sometimes. Its just so strange I dont know what to do!! Also get yourself a baby sling and carry her around as much as you can while running around. So the estrangement between the two of you became mutual. It will happen, if your baby is bonding with others s/he will bond with you. But it is a natural and normal development for a child who has bonded tightly with his mom (or parents). He is a very sweet baby, has a smile for everyone so I cannot understand why he acts like this with me, on the other hand my husband and my in-laws are obviously overjoyed to see that he is always smiling to them and acknowledging them. My wife dismisses my concerns so Im looking for the reassurance online. It may be because she may be spoiled to the phase of a daddys girl, or it may be you. Please help!!!!! His Aunt told me its just a novelty for him. What can I do? up at night, etc) but when our baby sees his dad he smiles and knows that for the next 20-30 minutes dear daddy is going to throw him up in the air and play. Not to make light of this happening to the dads out there but I think that is more common than the moms as, for the most part, we are the primary caregivers. A two-year-old is demanding and it is his job to figure out what the world is like, which certainly includes a lot of testing and protesting. not just for school its changing his diper or feeding him foods he will not eat from me at all i dont know why? But to love a child DESPITE feeling downright unloved back is extraordinary, seriously. Its putting a lot of strain on our relationship. To help us both my Mom moved in and now stays home with my daughter while I work. However, this is a normal reaction and the situation is far from hopeless. Why is that so? Best of luck. It is not uncommon that a baby has periods of preferring one parent over the other, but it can be a bit of tabu and maybe something that people avoid talking about as if the rejected parent is doing something wrong. If you can accept that OK, right now she prefers her dad, but that doesnt mean that I am bad or that she hates me. Was laid off and I hope that she simply loves being with them bottle to your finishes... 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