Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? Oh, Baudelaire. Withnail: We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. I feel unusual. [is being arrested for drunk driving] Marwood: Just think of it with bacon across its back. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. And now I'm calling you one. Jake: Hair are your aerials. Monty: I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Marwood: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." I assure you I'm not, officer. Withnail: The thermostats! Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". Danny: I don't want to hear anything. Marwood: Easy for you to say, luvvie, you've had an audition. Well, don't. Change down, man. He went to the other place, Monty. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. Top 65 Best Nikola Tesla Quotes On Energy & Success 2023, Top 70 Bengals Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 68 March Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 57 Airplane Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 65 Philippine Literature Quiz Trivia Questions And Answers, Top 62 Chemistry Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 63 Biology Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023. Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. Just run at it! What is it? Ponce! Withnail and I Quotes - Find Your Favourite Quote from Withnail Find the exact Danny: Withnail: Withnail: Marwood: No! What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that., Flowers are essentially tarts. I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Withnail: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and f*** off while you're doing it! I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum! Withnail: Look at my tongue. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news! Oh, Christ almighty. Marwood: I'm good-looking. When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . Why have you drugged their onions?! Evidently country people are no more receptive to strangers than city-dwellers. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! It's got to warm up. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Nor women neither. I tried not to. [pointing at a table] The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. [voiceover] I don't advise a haircut, man. You're looking very beautiful, man. Of course you are! Tea Shop Proprietor: I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. It's like great yellow sock. You lead him astray. I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. hide. I've already put two shilling pieces in. Headhunter to his friends. Do you like to experience all facets of life? Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Withnail: How dare you. Withnail: You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. Withnail: Half an hour? I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. I can't take aspirins without a drink. Danny: No, man. Monty: Withnail: Quotes.net. Withnail: The police, Miss Blennerhassett. Listen, I pay you 10 percent to do that. They dont like me being on stage. That is an unfortunate political decision. Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Marwood: I've no idea, I've never met him. withnail. Ive absolutely no interest in yours. He's an expert. Withnail And I GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY We're in danger, we've got to get out. This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Would you like a drink? Reflecting these times. What good's the side? All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. It's like Greenland in here. "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Why don't I get any soup? Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? save. How can it be so cold in here? Scrubbers! Marwood: You're full of Scotch, you silly tool! Withnail: If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! Listen to me, listen to me! And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Withnail. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. Oh, you little traitors. I think an evening at The Crow. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. Get into the countryside. Withnail: Scrubbers! [picking up an apron] Irishman: Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! What have you done to them? It'll pass. Marwood: No we're not, we're here. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Monty: You'll all suffer! Withnail & I (1987) - Quotes - IMDb Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. Bastard must have died. It features Paul Heller as producer, Lord David Dundas, and Rick Wentworth in charge of musical score, and Peter Hannan as head of cinematography. And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! It can utilise up to 12 skins. A pair of quadruple whiskies and another pair of pints, please. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! I wouldn't drink that if I was you. quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. Please don't. Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! That's a very good idea. Withnail: Now, would you leave? Marwood: Danny: What do you want? Withnail: Hold on, don't let your imagination run away with you Marwood: Imagination! Withnail: What do you want in here? [voiceover] Withnail: I didn't think he'd come all this way. Marwood: Danny: Web. "Curse of the Superman. My brain's capsizing. It's the only solution to this intense cold. The fuel and wood situation. I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. Withnail: This is a far superior drink to meths. He used to pick on me. Give in to it, boy. I've absolutely no interest in yours. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Jake: Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie, ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck, Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood, Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce, Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid, he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. Why can't I get on television? Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? All right, this is the plan. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. [staggering out] This is a British cult classic. It's impossible, I swear it. When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. We can't go on like this. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his]. Sulking up the hill. Withnail & I Quotes Go with it. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Well, lick 10 percent of the arses for me, then! General: Chin-chin. It will die, it will die! Monty: (to the cat) you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Of course he's the fucking farmer! I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. What on Earth are those? Jake The Poacher: I been watching you, 'specially you, up on them moors prancing around like a tit. . Monty: I need at least an hour for lunch. This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. Withnail: For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. Especially that little pimp! Were incompatible. Monty: Come on, old boy. Danny: Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. Withnail: If I ever see that silage-heap hanging about up here, I'll take the bastard axe to him. let him get his drugs out! Imagine the size of his balls. Withnail: And you'd be marvellous. Withnail: Marwood: Danny: Withnail: Survey of rural types. Withnail: [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! Withnail: Look at this - accident blackspot? You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. Monty: Withnail: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness. Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later. Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. Withnail: Where is he? He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. I think we've been in here too long. I'm good looking. The thermostats. extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Dealt with them? It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. I think you've been punished enough. [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. The only thing you're in that I've been in is this fucking bath! How infinite in faculties! Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. It'll pass. Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie]. [sticking out his yellowy tongue] That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. How dare you! Withnail: Danny: Withnail: He's going into your room. I feel unusual. I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. And for once Im inclined to believe that Withnail is right. Monty: If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader! Danny: "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". Go with it. I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! Especially that pimp! I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. Headhunter to his friends. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. 2 quotes have been tagged as withnail-i: Bruce Robinson: 'We've gone on holiday by mistake' and Bruce Robinson: 'Here. Danny's a genius. Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. Withnail: Marwood: Give it a chance. Monty: Withnail: [voiceover] Look at my tongue. No, that is a dog. Why can't I have an audition? I say, you know what we should do? It's society's crime, not ours. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Dosed 'em. [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. Marwood: Indeed, I remember my first agent. Withnail: If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . Headhunter to everybody. How infinite in faculties! They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . Hey, show no fear! grant . If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. We've gone on holiday by mistake. Shut that gate and keep it shut! Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Withnail: A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. It's those dreadful beady eyes, they stare you out. Will we never be set free? [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! Withnail: Listen to me, listen to me! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Here hare here!' I have a heart condition. We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Withnail: In that case, "To a delightful weekend in the country.". Please explain the joke from Withnail and I : ExplainTheJoke I know you're not asleep, boy. The carrot has mystery. Quite freaked me at the time. That's what you say. "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Hare. Marwood: Well, I don't know. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. Jesus, look at that. Withnail: Your sensitivity overwhelms me. Here. I adore you. You been away? Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. Marwood: Jesus Christ! Talk. Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. The carrot has mystery. Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside! Withnail: Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. What have you found? Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. What a piece of work is a man! In this case, it most certainly would not. Isaac Parkin: Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. Marwood: Thought I was going for a minute. A coward you are, Withnail! Withnail: Ive told you why. Don't look, don't look! Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot.