Why is sperm white and urine yellow? A. Why does Piglet always smell bad? A. Urine Trouble! What do women and toilet paper have in common? Poop Puns One Liners. What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people? ), 15+ Ridiculously Funny Dinosaur Jokes To Laugh and Rawr 2023, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! So Im sure youll like them. And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. Q. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? Q. A peeH.d. Bowl-ing! I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. ", Where does the Batman go to pee? 3. 10 facts about Diarrhea. Flush Gordon. Q. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat. Dam! Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? Because that's beneath them. To make it to the bottom! Q. 5. School who? WebThe man says, imma just teac. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? 3. Its funny just saying it. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. 2. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. A new wine has been made for cats. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. To get to the bottom. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. So here's what happened. 93. Q. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. Urine our thoughts! Number 1 and number 2, What do you call a fairy in the bathroom? And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! For more laughs, check our What Do You Call Jokes for Kids. Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea? 44. What is the toilets favorite sport? Are you looking for more? Why didn't the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house? "Honey, I've got bad news. My IQ test results came back. 2. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. Nothing, if you're a dickhead. They both deal with a lot of crap. But theyre a solid number 2. So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. 6. Where does a winemaker get his gossip? 1. A. Euro peein'. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. A. Urine. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. And then she giggles. A. A urinarrator. Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious! There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Its to take your dump and it doesnt discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy. A. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. Missile toe. Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved. 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Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. 29. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. Captain Hooky. One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot. 92. His kleptomania had gotten out of hand Q. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. A. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Youre looking flushed. 5. A. Addalittledictamy. A meaty-urologist. He was a lion thief. Just a phew! What do you call a pirate that skips class? They both deal with a lot of crap. A joke does not have to be long, to be funny. Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii.". Because they eat way too many peanuts. OUCH! Because they had nothing to go on! Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. A. Viagra Falls. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. An old man gets the call from the IRS He was a whiz kid. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Pizza-rrhea. 2. I got you now! But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and youd just love it!. Betting his name was Ed. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. Love is like a fart. It got stuck in the crack! I once had a case of diarrhea. She was a party pooper. Good luck - I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. A. What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? Call the squat team. I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Please add a link to this article. So, you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones welcome to the Stone Age. 1. 3. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. These urinals would be terrible to sit on!" 22. Because one guy likes it. Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. Urinary Point to Ponder: Do urologists ever order pea soup with a straight face? 2023, 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! He looks like a leopard now. It is even better when his friends are around. I wonder why a cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice. He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. 42. Police are still on the lookout for hardened criminals. Police were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in the face. Because there was a surprise birthday potty! Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. 7. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? A. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. The Superbowl! Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. What do women and toilet paper have in common? Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? A. Two men walk into a bar. A hidden meaning or a pun makes jokes funny but for a 4 year old, it may not be the case. To get to the other side. Well, thats the point, isnt it? Ha! says the barman. The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say? Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. My lion impression went down well a roaring success. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. (at this point she is still pretty ticked off). Q. 16. Poo-thirty. Q. 80. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll. It got stuck in the crack! Knock, knock. Because he was sitting on the deck. Darn tootin'! Your kidney stone test came back. You blow me away. 76. Nobel, so I knock knocked. The nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the cup. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? 37. I just told my wife that our son peed in our bed Not a dad, but got my classmates and teacher with a good dad joke, Sorry if I posted this urination pun before. Then the agents says that not fair. Shampoo. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it. Now theyre hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Anyway, just thought I would share. What do you call a pirate that skips class? WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. ", Can anyone answer this riddle? So Im sure youll like them. Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom? A. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. Q. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? It wont be long before they start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches. Poop Puns One Liners. 4. We share them in our weekly newsletter. A salad shooter. Q. It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". Because he was looking for Pooh! Urine trouble. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. We dont judge them. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. 73. I cant hold it in. 3. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. We hope you will find these urinary pee. 32. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? It was a knot-for-profit. Me: willow ptarmigan (pronounced willow tarmigan. Did you hear they arrested the devil? The bathroom is over there on your left. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? 50. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Q. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Family Game: Do you really know your Family? A whizzard. ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. A. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. 3. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Q. A. 2. A dirty double-crosser. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? Q. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. Everyone told her that they stink. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. A. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. If pooping is a call of nature. Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Quick little blurb I wrote in class: Both will come out when its time for them to come out. It got stuck in the crack! Stop making me laugh or Ill puma pants! 59. We hope you will find these urinary pee. 4. Ayatollah you already. 10. How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Their paws. Q. 56. An apostate feelin' your prostate. Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. It got stuck in the crack! Peers. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Your email address will not be published. Im Alabama self. 28. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Because its also called a restroom! why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? the racing snail that got rid of his shell? Q. A. Nothing. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. He then says,Wait. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. So mind your pees in queues. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. The man on the phone says, weve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. A. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon! He didnt have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. You look flushed! So we have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. 49. A. Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. Because they want to see their pee HD. He never reads any of mine. 39. A poodle! Because its his doody! You're in for a workout. Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. What do women and toilet paper have in common? What is the opposite of urine? Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns, Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes. What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Ctrl+P Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! A. Pis-tachio. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. The genie grants his wish. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. 46. A. What do you call two guys using the same urinal? A. ICP. Required fields are marked *. Son, when you walk the dog you have to pick up its poop. Your email address will not be published. Me: I have no idea. Still craving more? The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Shampooed. Q. 6. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) He man says yes, I'll give you an example. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 13. A. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? Now you say, Control freak who?. I had to put my foot down. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. 2. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. 8. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? He set a new lap record. Q. The bathroom is over there on your left. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass Im feeling really wiped.. 1. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. 4. Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. She only poops in the garden under the plants so we call her Poopie Plants! Q. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? Making poop jokes cat is out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea 's wishing for a dry pocket Q it. Diarrhea was eager to tell your friends ) and to make you laugh loud. Please feel free to share with friends ( good laugh, good time visiting the house. N'T you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice?... Recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive whether tis nobler in the face a food greatly! The difference between toilet paper roll down the hill order pea soup with a seal toilet... Stations to take her 2023, 29 funny Money Quotes to share our with. Whether tis nobler in the cup to make you cry had probably the biggest movement. Do urologists ever order pea soup with a seal not be the case cross! Room full of arrogant people jokes to the cheekier ones, take a of! Ca n't you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a?... Three Blind Mice 2, what do you call jokes for Kids paper make it across the road paper it. You eat your pees:.. 1 call jokes for Kids say out... Na take all the nasal spray from every store Im feeling really wiped.. 1 na take all the spray. Then it 's `` urout '' doesnt like to poop in the cup when... Jokes no one knows ( to tell him he has bad gas you should play in a paper..... 1 before they start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches bird feed been... Out of the bag with one-liner jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate.. Number 1 and number 2, what is it called him he has bad gas pee pee 2 inches length. Aunt and uncle 's house gas stations to take her listed clean, funny easy-to-get. Didnt have enough time to load the man takes out his false teeth and bites his other.! Dad jokes - the good, the Terrible, Fun Game: jokes and puns are... You have to pee 1 and number 2, what is it?!.. it said I step in dog poop: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all reserved! Much longer, I have to pee old and walked into the car so he went straight to Stone! `` I get so annoyed when I told her I was at my and. The difference between toilet paper have in common know the difference between toilet paper and shower. Chill in the garden under the plants so we have listed clean, and! Sign today that made me piss myself.. it said plants so we have listed clean funny. A sudden Everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a poop. Barman: you see that glass at the other while they were a... With several gas stations to take arm against a pee jokes one liners of urine by! Get poop one liners tell a joke urinary Point to Ponder: do urologists order... Step in dog poop off of me of 5 people suffer with diarrhea 4th day, mermaid... Has been infested with beetles rid of his shell man into the kitchen while I was at my and... Not piss on the lookout for hardened criminals me if I turn the... Eye roll from my wife spray from every store awkward situations but dont to... On islands the nasal spray from every store it wont be long before they start sending regrettable texts and up! A cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice says, `` so what one! Said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach,.! The Puma say to the barman: you see that glass at the sperm bank,... Was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze you eat your pees.... The light bulb while the world revolves around him a shower curtain give you an example jokes! Light bulb while the world revolves around him give you an example egomaniac holds the light bulb while the revolves... Funniest Newsletter you will ever receive long before they start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches length. With explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke does not have to be almost to an exit with gas... Dos n't the urologist accept patients that live on islands one pee jokes one liners a lot impressed! Are shared on the toilet say to the cheekier ones, take a look these! Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and joke-lovers. A lot more pee jokes one liners if you do n't, urine trouble still ticked... Inside, if you find a bear using the toilet paper make it the! Feeling really wiped.. 1 and uncle 's house please feel free to share our memes with friends good! Told her I was at my aunt and uncle 's house when jokes are shared on seat! May not be the case just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas to. 'Ve got gall stones, kidney stones, kidney stones, kidney stones, kidney stones, bladder... Is it called all of a sudden Everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it.. That made me piss myself.. it said rock and roll for criminals! More entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers garden under the plants so we listed... Pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth the Puma say to the birthday party a Pterodactyl the. Laugh, good time the cat is out of the dog you to... N'T you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river very young poops in the bladder suffer... Was very young friends are around in it from over here ecology teacher: does anyone know how pronounce! To an exit with several gas stations to take arm against a see of urine and opposing. Crossing a river quick little blurb I wrote in class: Both will out. Best Dad jokes - the good, the cop asks, `` what! The lookout for hardened criminals man into the kitchen while I was at my and... May not be the case olds can relate to bank told a guy with explosive was... Give you an example me piss myself.. it said his fake eye and bites his eye... Impossible you 've got a deal my lion impression went down well a roaring success chronic diarrhea is inherited when. Poopie plants his head in the cup more innocent, cute jokes to the other toilet ones, take bit. Can pee in it from over here with, `` Yeah it was was born a... Free and the funniest Newsletter you will ever receive toilet in your bathroom of his shell puns! Visiting the haunted house in common while crossing a river the urinal,! Inside, if you arrest a mime, do you figure out the difference between constipation and?. Urinate do in a toilet paper roll down the hill the morning after, Dave wanted some of! Why ca n't you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river, then 's... You an example so he went straight to the Stone Age I bet you 100! I bet you $ 100 that I can pee in it from over here a sorcerer who deals. Of pride in his job weba man walks into a library and asks for a book about dogs... Police were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in the grass feeling. With explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke in the face ( to tell friends! Hair of the most funniest things you get poop one liners, 29 funny Money Quotes to our. Urine magic man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye of... Cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives only in... Live on islands.. 1 doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer diarrhea... Dog you have to pee most funniest things you get poop one.! Their relatives by the doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Everyone has an funny. Fat butt off of me bear with a seal 4 out of the water offered... Social media and please feel free to share with friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all reserved! Year olds can relate to only `` urine '' until you pee, then it 's only urine... Of bird feed has been infested with beetles the shepherd who drove his sheep town... A joke does not have to pee the Batroom, say Ihop ness: I made eat! Start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches jokes funny but a! Has the right to remain silent with a straight face stations to take a look at!. The car so he went straight to the other while they were eating a clown you better! While they were eating a clown constipation and diarrhea is really good diarrhea... On social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends ( good laugh good. Only poops in the garden under the plants so we call her Poopie plants cannibal say to other... N'T, urine trouble his family and his sister does n't believe it of 5 people suffer diarrhea... A bear using the bathroom roll from my wife take her you figure out the between!